40th Birthday on the Horizon

As I approach my 40th birthday, I am thinking about the things that I want to accomplish in the next 40 years. When I look back on my life thus far, I feel that I have definitely had some great experiences and met some wonderful people. Basically, I don't have any regrets. There have been good times and bad times, but overall I would have to say that I have had a good life. I've definitely learned a lot along the way.

Some would call this mid-life crisis time and talk about it as a bad thing. Honestly, I don't think it is a bad thing to take inventory of your life and make some goals for the future. It is my theory that the people who go off the deep end at this point in their life do it because they didn't enjoy or reflect on their life until now. They feel like they haven't accomplished anything that they wanted to do in the last 40 years, and now they are panicking. I do not think that will happen to me. For the most part, I've always found a way to be happy. It is my theory that a place does not make you happy. Happiness comes from within. Another reason I do not think I will have a huge mid-life crisis is because due to the recession I took the last year off of work. It gave me a lot of time to relax, think, reflect, and plan. I got in touch with who I was as a person outside of work. I took up some new hobbies and returned to old hobbies that I had given up due to the "rat race." I recently got a job again, and I feel totally refreshed and like a kid just out of college ready to join the workforce. The year off will definitely make me a better worker because I will make sure that I take care of myself and that I am happy. My job is not my identity anymore. When people ask me what I do, I feel like saying I blog, write, enjoy movies, bicycle, love home improvement, hike, camp, explore, etc. I love my job, but it is not who I am. It will fund my life and is an important part of my life, but it is not my whole life. This is my new approach to work, and I think it will work well for me.

As I reflect on the next 40 years, I have decided on the following things that I want to accomplish:

• Become a published author.
  
• Learn Spanish.
  
• Keep up with technology.
• Stay close to the ones that I love.
• Continue my faith in God.
• Stay in the helping professions where I feel like I can make a difference.
• Save for retirement.
• Visit Europe.
  
• Go to Hawaii.
• Stay healthy and work harder on becoming fit for the future.
• Continue to enjoy and appreciate the little things in life.
• Take more time to read.
• Volunteer.
  
• Continue to laugh a lot.
• Whistle more.
• See a Broadway Show and visit the Statue of Liberty.
• Take up photography as a hobby.
• Ride a jet ski.

I wonder if I will accomplish all of these goals in the next 40 years. Honestly, it really doesn't matter, just as long as I continue to take the time to enjoy life and appreciate this incredible place called Earth.

Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, Tres Pinos, California

On my way back from my camping trip, I found a small Catholic church. It was a very decorative church with a lot of grottos on the outside. They even had an outside walk to Golgotha with monuments along the way commemorating Christ's journey.

Camping Trip to Pinnacles National Park, CA. 10/11/09

Below are the pictures from my overnight camping trip to Pinnacles National Monument, CA. I hiked up the trail 1.9 miles above the fog to the top in order to get these shots. The park has many other trails and caves which I plan on exploring at a later date.

Random Pics, October 5, 2009

Doppler



The Sugarlump , my home away from home.

San Francisco

Out & About in San Francisco

Reflections on Walking

I have always found walking to be therapeutic and relaxing. It all started when I was in junior high and lived on the farm that my great grandfather built. Mom loved to walk, and she always tried very hard to get one of us kids to go with her. We walked the pastures during the winter when the rattle snakes were hibernating, and we walked the country roads and oil lease roads the rest of the time. We talked about everything.

When I was in high school, I continued the long walks with my best friend. Granted, the town of Jetmore, KS is only about four miles long, but we would walk back and forth on our nightly walks and usually end up in his basement where there was always an ongoing game of Risk. We also liked to climb the big hill in front of my home in the country and relax on our backs and look at the stars. We'd look down at the pasture below where we had trespassed and parked his black Trans Am. Sometimes it was so dark that when we were ready to leave we couldn't find the midnight black car until we had almost stumbled on it. Up there on the hill we would watch the stars and talk about our hopes, dreams, challenges, fears, etc.

After high school, I found myself going on nightly walks when I was in college in the twin cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul). Often, other friends would want to join. Around 10:00 p.m., I would lead a small exodus of warmly dressed buddies off the campus of the College of St. Thomas, and we would explore the charming neighborhoods. We were totally bundled against the cold, Minnesota night. It was my first time away from home, and I had moved several states away. I remember that the sound of the wind chimes on the porches was particularly comforting to me and made me feel less homesick.

Recently, I find myself walking through the neighborhoods of San Francisco. When I walk through the neighborhoods in the early evening, I see the husbands and wives coming home, the kids putting up their bikes for the night, and I hear the clinking of silverware and dishes that signal dinner is on the way. I hear music, smell BBQ, and feel the beginnings of the cold night air start to touch my face.

In the mornings when I walk in the Mission district, I see the store owners unlocking the bars on the doors, sweeping up the sidewalks, and making fresh coffee which tempts everyone as they walk past the open doors and smell the aroma. Parents are waiting at the bus stop to get their kids off to another day of school, construction workers are putting out their orange cones, the stoops have women and men in their pajamas having their first cigarette of the day, and there is a freshness to everything that signals a new day with unlimited possibilities.

Saturday morning walks are particularly sacred because nobody is in hurry. Many people are still asleep, and those that are awake are packing their cars for a weekend camping trip or short day trip outside the city. Released from school for the day, the kids are biking, skateboarding, roller skating, and using their sidewalk chalk to draw creative murals. Saturday mornings are a festive time. It seems like the whole city just takes a collective sigh of relief that the work week is over and now it is time to play.

My boyfriend and I have now begun what we affectionately call "Old People Sundays." We get up early on a Sunday morning and walk the city for about five to six hours. Along the way, we stop in the stores that interest us and get brunch. It is great.

Well, it's time for me to walk back to the loft on this Saturday morning. So relaxed!

Potrero Hill Garden Tour 9/13/09

My boyfriend and I recently toured the gardens of Potrero Hill, San Francisco. We didn't drive to the homes; we hiked the hills. Behind all of these wonderful old homes are beautiful, small gardens. It is incredible what these urban gardeners did with such a small space. They have definitely figured out how to have outdoor living at it's best. Below you will find some of the pictures:

Mission District Murals

The Mission District is full of Murals on the buildings. I have taken some photos of a few of them and posted them below.

The Painted Ladies of San Francisco, September 4, 2009

Pictures of Churches in the San Francisco Area

Old Mission Building - Mission Dolores (1776)
This is the oldest intact mission in California. It is the oldest building in San Francisco, and it survived the various earthquakes and fires.



St. Michael in the main altar



St. Ignatius Church, San Francisco, CA







Mission Dolores Basilica (This is next to the old mission building.)

The Meaning of Life: Adventure

As the move to San Francisco approaches, I find myself thinking about the meaning of life a lot these days. At different times in my life I have asked a couple of tough questions. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Am I living life to its full potential?

The last time I thought about this, I believe my answer was that I am here on earth to help others in life. I should help others to be successful and not tear them down or judge them. I am here to build people up and challenge them, myself, and society to greater levels of truth, knowledge, and artistic beauty. I still believe this, but I think there is more to it.

As I now ask myself these questions, I believe that I am here also for an adventure. I am here to have experiences that will help me to learn and grow. There are many different adventures in life, and I don't think that anyone has the exact same adventure. For example, many people find themselves on the family adventure with the experience of raising kids. Each parent in the world has a very unique experience with their child that is not exactly replicated anywhere else on the planet or in history. The sad part is that we are so fast to judge other people's adventures because they don't fit into our understanding of life, or maybe other people's adventures cause us to reflect to closely on our own lives. I confess that I have at times been prone to judge other people's adventures. Luckily, I am with a man who consistently challenges me to look beyond my own insecurities and control issues to appreciate other people's unique journeys without judging them. He builds me up, and he doesn't tear me down. I'm beginning to think that judging others is definitely a direct result of a person's insecurity with their own life and their unhealthy need for control.

Bitterness can arise if I expect certain things out of life or try to control and manage life so that it fits into the boxes that I want it to fit in. The only expectation I can truly have on life is that it is ever changing. There are good things and bad things, and they are constantly surrounding me at every turn of the road. There was a time in my life when I thought I had the job I would retire from and lived in the in the house I would grow old in. "We make plans, and God laughs." As it turns out, my road was not destined to be so straight and narrow, and I am very glad that change came into my life. The time in Portland has been refreshing and I am looking forward to the new adventures in San Francisco. Living on the West Coast has opened my life to many different people, new hobbies, healthy food choices, green living/environmental responsibility, and new expressions of art and beauty.

Too many people allow bitterness and regret to run their lives when their expectations are not met. But then again, I have not taken their particular journey, and I really have no foundation on which to judge another person. Judgment seems to be a seductive trap that is always present.

To wrap this up, I believe the meaning of life for me is not "comfortable shoes" as Cliff Claven on Cheers once said, but instead it is to help others and have a wonderful adventure with unexpected twists and turns. At least that is my meaning of life, but yours may be different.

My 91 year old grandmother once said that when she looked back on her life she saw it as a series of chapters in one long book of adventure. She could clearly see where one chapter ended and another began. In the short time I have been on this earth, I can already see what she means. My boyfriend and I are starting a new chapter of our lives, the San Francisco years. This doesn't mean that we won't come back to Portland, but if we do we will be older with a whole new set of experiences that will shape our perspective on life. There may be a Portland II chapter, or even a Portland III chapter. I don't know. I don't really want to know. I've always figured that even if a fortune teller could tell my future, why would I want to know? I don't want someone spoiling my adventure by telling me the ending.

These are my ramblings on this calm, peaceful, and overcast day here at the Palio Coffeehouse in Portland.